I am miserable, bored, and ready to give up! I can’t seem to do anything right and really neither can he. He is not abusive or anything and he says he loves me, but I don’t really feel anything for him lately. We have been married for 13 years and have 4 kids from 13-10 months. I am not a quitter, I believe in "till death do you part" but I am just confused and need some comforting words or advise. Please help !
It sounds like your over whelmed is what the problem is. You two probably don’t take time for the two of you alone anymore. Your working on the family and letting the marriage slip…which is what happens to a lot of couples. Try taking time out at least once a week to rekindle the marriage…get a baby sitter and go out…just the two of you.
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March 10th, 2010 at 6:00 pm
Sometimes you just hit low points in a marriage. Everyday life, stress & the military lifestyle can wear you down. With 4 kids, how do you have time for yourself?
Been there, done that. IM me if you want to chat or something.
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March 10th, 2010 at 6:37 pm
I had marriage problems since the day I got married and still having problems even though we’ve been divorced 5 years since we have a child together. He is a mean person though and like you said: I could never do anything right.
If you want it to work maybe you ought to look into some things that will spicen up your marriage such as role-play or something. That can always be fun dressing up and stuff.
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March 10th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
It sounds like your over whelmed is what the problem is. You two probably don’t take time for the two of you alone anymore. Your working on the family and letting the marriage slip…which is what happens to a lot of couples. Try taking time out at least once a week to rekindle the marriage…get a baby sitter and go out…just the two of you.
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March 10th, 2010 at 7:04 pm
My hubby and I get a little grouchy, but we have our own bedrooms and we giggle together the next morning. We like to laugh the next day together about what made us pissy the night before. We read the comics together on Sunday morning. some folks ask why we do not go to church. We have our day of sabbath and sleep in on Sunday!
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married lady
March 10th, 2010 at 7:34 pm
Relationship counseling? Or even sex counseling if your ‘bedroom life’ ain’t as good as it should be. I think it often happens with most married couples though. Also how about telling him how you feel so he can try harder. Sometimes it’s the little things that count(helping you with chores, brekkie in bed, post-it notes with cute messages etc.). Maybe spend some time alone, to like bond more. Something fun that involves teamwork would be good too. Maybe a ‘romantic’ or just a ‘fun’ weekend away– in the countryside or something, or somewhere relaxing may help. Try as many possibilities as you can– you never know what might work.
I really hope things work out.
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March 10th, 2010 at 8:16 pm
I know you might be sick of hearing this but maybe it is a hormone problem you have and that is why you don’t feel anything for him. go get his checked out or take a natural remedy from the health shop.
You haven’t explained what it is he is doing wrong or acting like. Maybe you both need a change like a holiday or a long weekend just the two of you together
Remember marriage is a partnership and you need to work at it
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March 10th, 2010 at 8:21 pm
I am.. I feel so bad… He loves me so deeply , and i don’t love him at all. I have a best friend ,and i am sooo in love with him…and he with me. but out of respect for my marriage we are cooling it and keeping it friends until i can divorce….I gave it 5 yrs and i want to be happy before i get too old..
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March 10th, 2010 at 8:52 pm
Everything you are saying should be said to him. His reaction will probably be anger and/or hurt. But at least you told him how you feel.
You can also tell him that you would like to go to counseling with him to help your marriage get back on track. If he doesn’t want to go, please go for yourself. You may discover many answers to your own questions. Perhaps the children are wearing you down. You don’t have the freedom you used to have and you can’t focus on you and your husband any more. This has happened to many couples. However, if your husband is ignoring you and going out without you…I would rethink the situation. He should be there to support you and help you with the kids.
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March 10th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
well talk with him find the thing that is bugging you both
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March 10th, 2010 at 9:32 pm
I have been married for 13 years also, and it is hard to stay connected sometimes, because life is happening… You have kids to keep up, a home to keep up, jobs to keep up, and it just seems that there is no time left over for the two of you.. Sometimes I get miserable, bored, and ready to give up, but then I think "do I really want to start over again?", or "do I want to be a single parent?"… and then I have also thought about cheating, because it would bring excitement into my life, but when this crosses my mind, I always ask myself "how would I feel if he did this to me?"… So, I kind of know how you feel, but then I have to set time aside to focus on him, and find all of the stuff in him that I first fell in love with… And yes, over time, people do change, but deep down they are still the same… So, I would say focus on the stuff that you first fell in love with, and break up the everyday routine…
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March 10th, 2010 at 10:14 pm
My wife and i are there. Communicate, very important. Go out on dates, do things that excited you in the past. Remember all the good things and do not dwell on the bad. Work on it. I know it is tough and sometimes feels like your alone but we (y/a) are here for you. Good luck!
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