I always thought couples therapy is just for couples who really can’t communicate. But I’m starting to think that my boyfriend and I need it. How does counseling really help a relationship?
It is definitely hard to come to the conclusion that a couple needs counseling. But when your relationship is in trouble, that’s the resort that people happen to turn to. During these sessions, not only will you both be spilling out your emotions, but you’ll come to a full realization of your problems. Both of you will learn things about yourselves that you didn’t realize before.
When you’ve been with your partner for a long time, things will change no matter how well you know your partner. Interests change. Hobbies change. Beliefs change. If there’s been changes in career positions or a lot of stress at work, this has a huge impact. All of these changes create the lack of communication that has developed between the both of you. You’re not the couple you used to be in the beginning. But now you need to deal with changes that have occurred and solve the problems that have been arising.
Counseling will give you a better understanding of your spouse and help you communicate better in new ways. But don’t fully depend on counseling as your only solution to save your relationship. The sessions will give you the first steps to take, but it’s up to you both to take the the remaining steps.
If you need additional advice, feel free to email advice.relationship@yahoo.com. We are a free service offering relationship help to couples in need.
February 23rd, 2010 at 4:11 am
It helps the two people to learn how to respect each other, compromise and support each other. It also helps them to learn how to communicate effectively.
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February 23rd, 2010 at 4:45 am
Therapy comes in many different flavors, and one type does help couples with communication skills.
Another focus of therapy are learning how to compromise.
The list goes on and on.
The most important thing to remember is that IT DOES NOT WORK if you go past the point of no return.
ALWAYS get counseling at the first sign of trouble, don’t try to fix things yourself or hope your problems go away.
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February 23rd, 2010 at 5:18 am
Be careful which therapist you choose.
You can choose one that will take your side. It will feel really positive at first, but won’t help in the long run. Therapists, male and female, tend to lean toward the distaff point of view. Be mindful of that tendency.
And don’t be too impressed with a lot of diplomas and awards on the wall behind the therapists desk. Good ones are hard to find. And don’t think if they charge a lot they will be more competent. It just means they charge more.
Make sure the problem you want to work on is properly addressed by therapy. Some things don’t amend themselves that way.
Be prepared to spend a lot of money and get nothing out of it. Be prepared to go alone, especially if your partner thinks the therapist is "fishy". Do be willing to go to another therapist that your partner is more comfortable with. Be suspicious if your motive isn’t questioned too.
Good ones are a rarity.
Good luck. Strive to be happy, it’s your right as a participant in this whirling, sparkling, infinite universe.
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February 23rd, 2010 at 5:25 am
it brings in a third party who has no emotion attached to the situation. this allows them to see patterns and how EACH person can change. they can also give communication homework or tips to help heal a relationship. it’s just finding a good one. they are kind of the middle man, they can diffuse an issue bc they see it from the outside.
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February 23rd, 2010 at 6:06 am
It is definitely hard to come to the conclusion that a couple needs counseling. But when your relationship is in trouble, that’s the resort that people happen to turn to. During these sessions, not only will you both be spilling out your emotions, but you’ll come to a full realization of your problems. Both of you will learn things about yourselves that you didn’t realize before.
When you’ve been with your partner for a long time, things will change no matter how well you know your partner. Interests change. Hobbies change. Beliefs change. If there’s been changes in career positions or a lot of stress at work, this has a huge impact. All of these changes create the lack of communication that has developed between the both of you. You’re not the couple you used to be in the beginning. But now you need to deal with changes that have occurred and solve the problems that have been arising.
Counseling will give you a better understanding of your spouse and help you communicate better in new ways. But don’t fully depend on counseling as your only solution to save your relationship. The sessions will give you the first steps to take, but it’s up to you both to take the the remaining steps.
If you need additional advice, feel free to email advice.relationship@yahoo.com. We are a free service offering relationship help to couples in need.
References :